Dear Santa …

Bill Trudell thanks Santa for granting wishes from last year, suggests new gifts for world leaders

Bill Trudell

Dear Santa,

Well, what a year this has been!

I can only imagine the increase in letters you are receiving because we need some extra joy this Christmas, along with that vaccine, of course. I sure hope you don’t have COVID-19 up there so that you can still make your rounds.

Thanks for reading my letter last year. It had been so many years since I had last written.

You certainly granted one big wish: bringing common sense and maybe some decency to the good people of America.

You won’t have to leave too much at the White House this year, but if Mrs. Claus is baking perhaps a humble pie, or even a lump of coal if there is any still around.

If you do visit the White House, you will likely find some pardons lying around and I am sure Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu would appreciate one in his stocking.

I am sure you have heard that Joe Biden will be the new president of the United States. Although I suspect he is too busy to write, he would likely appreciate the game of “Chance,” which is all he is asking for. Perhaps the American people will give it to him.

Speaking of the American people, they could use some trust in their institutions again.

And if you have the time, could you leave Saturday Night Live some new material? They will need it — or even an earlier time slot so we do not have to stay up so late only to turn off the show.

I suspect your travels will take you to China. I know President Xi Jinping will not want you to leave presents for the people in Hong Kong, but they need lots of courage if you have any to spare. I wonder if you have room in your sleigh to pick up a couple of Canadians who don’t seem to be able to get home? Perhaps in the spirit of Christmas they could be swapped for a Chinese lady who is stuck in court on the West Coast of Canada. You just might be the only person who can accomplish this!

As you make your way to Germany, please leave Chancellor Angela Merkel a new pair of comfortable slippers so she will stay around. She sure is needed and cannot walk off the stage yet. I bet all the leaders of the European Union would leave you extra cookies if you did that.

As I am writing this letter, those leaders would all like similar music sheets, perhaps for the song “Come Together.”

U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson, on the other hand, would like a new game in his stocking called “Breaks It.”

I am sure they don’t write and ask for anything, but Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip are likely having a hard time quarantining. Perhaps a DVD of a TV series would be fun, something fictional like The Crown. I do not think the Queen would appreciate The Queen’s Gambit. She really does not compete.

Santa, here in Canada we are really looking forward to your visit. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Minister of Finance Chrystia Freeland are really in need of a new and deep goldmine. They have been playing Santa for quite a while and maybe you could help them out just in case their well runs dry.

The prime minister could also use some new boxing gloves, because lots of Canadians think it is time for him to get back into the ring with China.

Minister of Intergovernmental Affairs Dominic LeBlanc deserves a medal this year for hanging in there and trying to keep all the provinces and territories happy. And Santa, all the premiers and political decisionmakers could use a consistent plan during this second wave of COVID.

Speaking of special presents Santa, oh my, Dr. Theresa Tam deserves something to make her laugh, and if you know the Pope, perhaps you can have him name Dr. Bonnie Henry the first living saint.

I am concerned about how much our world down here is changing. Big tech and virtual communications are out of control and taking over.

Before you know it, someone will suggest Santa Claus is fake.

Moreover, it is really hard not to be able to get together in concert halls, theatres, or even communities. I think this is one reason why we need you to actually visit this year. However, you need to be extra careful because Mr. Musk has filled the skies with satellites and there is lots of debris floating around. Also, Santa, you might not need your red long johns under your suit because our climate is getting warmer and warmer all the time.

I just want to make one more request. If you can’t bring something for everyone, the frontline health-care workers deserve to get Christmas presents. So many people have suffered this year, and many continue to work so hard to support us all. This is especially true of the doctors, nurses, and amazing scientists.

In my profession, some of our courts have remained open and are functioning. That is because of the cleaners and clerks and other staff who have carried the burden.

Anyway, Santa, I just want to thank you in advance. We will leave you cookies and milk, but also hand sanitizer, antiseptic wipes and even masks to keep you, your elves and reindeer safe.

Your visit this year will be like a COVID vaccine, and we can’t wait!

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